i dont care what you think.
i really don't anymore.
you say i broke your trust.
you say i broke your faith in me.
all i wanted was to get away from you.
i don't know what claire sent to you.
but if you see this as backstabbing.
then go ahead.
if telling you what i think is considered as backstabbing then go ahead.
cause you never see things my way.

i've disappointed you.
but you made me fall.
and to think that you told me that i was afraid to fall.

there is no more time needed.
i did all i wanted to do.
i got you away from me.
and leave me alone.
you'll be happier with her.
and after this mess is over.
i know that the both of you would last.
and have something so much more.

i did what i had to do.
cause you said you wanted me to be happy.
well.
i just took the first step towards it.

if loving you meant that i have to do everything to make you happy.
even if it meant keeping the truth from you.
then i really can't do it.
i guess you didn't see how much i tried to stay by the sidelines.

fuck this.
why am i bothering.
since i happily broke your trust.
you won't trust what i say anymore.

throw the fucking thing away.
along with everything else.
even the book.
better still.
burn everyfucking thing.
cause i don't see why you want to keep it.


you,
i know you told me things because you thought you could trust me.
well.
just so you know.
when it comes to something like this.
i don't even trust myself.
it may sound stupid.
but i placed him first.
and i just thought that he needed to know.
and since you're so tight-lipped about it.
i told him.
i ruined everything.
i know.
i'm the one who betrayed your trust.
i know.
if you want me to apologise for telling him.
i won't.
i did what i thought was right.
claire tried to back me up.
i know it won't work.
i know i caused this mess and someone has to be blamed for it.
let it be me then.
i'm used to it.

you don't know me.
so don't say you understand how it feels.
i was trying to trust you you know?
but i get scared of you sometimes.
just so you know.

he still loves you.
even though it has been two years.
you don't see how much he has changed huh?
his temper is no longer there.
it has clearly simmered down.
and he still keep messages from you.
one you sent two years ago.
trying to move on by shutting you away.
but it doesn't seem to work does it?
if someone like him can't get over someone he loves.
what about me?
i'm not as strong as him.
i don't intend to.